Black Ring, Right Hand

Why we wear a black ring on our right hand.

Swinger Finger Bling!
In an effort to help us all discretely identify others in the swinging lifestyle, we suggest wearing a black ring on the right hand whenever you're open to meeting others in the lifestyle.  If you agree, please post this to your profile and we can quickly spread the word that the black ring on the right hand signifies a member of the swinger community.


Q: How does the black ring work?

A: Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers.  If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them.  "I see you're wearing a black ring on your right hand.  Maybe we are in the same club."

Q: Does it matter what finger I wear my black ring?

A: Wear your black ring on any finger but the middle one.  The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too.  A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is an infrequently used symbol of asexuality.  Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community. (See below.)  

Q: Do I have to wear my black ring all the time?

A: No.  Only when you want other swingers to recognize you.

Q: What if someone without a black ring approaches me and asks me what the ring means?

A: Tell them anything you would like.  "Oh nothing.  Nice, isn't it?"

Q: Does wearing the black ring mean we're full swap swap/soft swap/bi-male/bi-female, etc.?

A: No.  It just means you are a swinger.  It's a way to start a conversation.  If you're not compatible, at least you met a kindred spirit.

Q: Does wearing the black ring mean you are asexual?

A: Some in the asexual community wear black rings on their middle fingers as a symbol of asexual pride.  Although, it is unlikely that asexual people will be at the same social events as swingers, if this is still a cause of concern, wear your black ring on any other finger of your right hand.  

Q: Does wearing the black ring mean you are polyamorous?

A: Not necessarily. It means you are a swinger.  You may also happen to be polyamorous, but the black ring is not meant to be a symbol for polyamory.

Q: I don't want anyone to know I'm a swinger.  What do I do?

A: Simple.  Don't wear the ring.

Q: Is there a particular ring I should get?

A: No.  As long as it's black, it counts.

Q: Where do we buy our black rings?

A: NOTE: This probably applies only to those in the US.
Our rings are tungsten and we bought them on Amazon for $20 each. Search for "black rings". We've seen nice stainless steel rings on eBay $5 or less. You can also buy them in wholesale lots of mixed sizes on eBay. We paid $20 for 100 hematite rings in mixed sizes. We've also seen wholesale lots of 36 stainless steel rings for $20. They're so cheap, we give them out to friends at parties. You can also buy a ring sizer on eBay for less than $2 if you don't know your ring size and you want to buy a ring in a particular size.

Q: I am afraid I might be harassed for wearing the black ring.  Isn't it dangerous to expose yourself by wearing such a public sign of being a swinger?

A: The number of swingers in the population is very low -- less than 4% of the population identify themselves as swingers.  [Correction: According to 2005 estimates by the Kinsey Institute and others, swingers account for two to four percent of married couples with numbers in excess of 4 million people in North America. As of 2011, some experts believe that there are as many as 15 million Americans swinging on a regular basis. Source: Wikipedia article on swingingThe odds that the number of people wearing the black ring ever being so high as to reach to popular consciousnesses is correspondingly low.  Again, you should only wear the black ring if, when and where you want to be identified as a swinger.  Do not wear it in situations where you think you may be threatened.


  1. where do you buy the black ring... is there a standard ring forsale

    1. There is no "standard" ring. Any black ring will do.

  2. We bought ours at Amazon. There isn't a standard issue. Any black or mostly black ring will do.

    Mine (Mr. Fu's) looks like this:

    I'll edit the FAQ to include this response.

  3. Just so you are aware, the asexual community wears a black ring on the right middle finger to indicate they're asexual. This may create some confusion the swinger crowd.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. We are aware of this and are recommending that swingers who are sensitive to this confusion wear their black rings on any finger other than the middle one. I have edited the FAQ above to reflect this. That being said, we think it is unlikely that swingers and members of the asexual community will meet under the circumstances we are proposing the black rings be worn.

      (edited typos)

    3. Maybe there's an Asexual Swingers Convention? ;-)

  4. Just so you are aware, the asexual community wears a black ring on the right middle finger to indicate they're asexual. This may create some confusion the swinger crowd.

  5. The idea seems good for developed countries and places in South America or far East Asia central Asia etc when travelling. But in india the general public is too curious, smart and gossiping! Also very uncouth and vindictive. India Pakistan etc specially fir local people needs something less conspicuous and more discrete. Some kind of pleasant overt action that appears just warm, spontaneous but can be recognised by other swingers may work better when made by someone aimed at probable swingers or just poking to see if the other are swingers.

  6. Should the ring be all black or can it have silver accent/diamonds without it causing any more confusion?

    1. It can have any decorations you would like. As long as your average reasonable person would say "That ring is black" you should be OK.

  7. For those of you looking for something really classy -

  8. Ebay has some nice ones that come engraved if you desire for about $20.00. We live in a small town and comfortably wear ours everywhere. Anyone asks we say they are our friendly rings. They are engraved with our pet names for each other and reside opposite our wedding bands to symbolize the dark side of our marriage. Highly encourage everyone to wear one who is friendly. Hunting in the wild is exciting!

  9. Look up the 22kill-honor-ring. It is a black ring that you right hand (trigger finger) which means the following:

    Research and learn about your local veteran service organizations and what their missions and needs are
    Focus on veteran strengths and challenge negative attitudes around veteran “issues”
    Advocate for veterans in a positive light in any platform you have
    Raise awareness to the issues of veteran suicide, and follow up with a positive solution through education and empowerment through programs offered from local nonprofits and veteran service organization
    Believing that veterans are America’s greatest asset and learning to love them unconditionally

    Just so everyone knows, it may not be a very good thing to walk up to anyone with a blank ring on their right trigger finger and talk about swinging. Most of these black ring careers are also strong advocates of owning guns, etc.

  10. Like the old wives tale about swingers having white rocks in their front yards, or "hotwives" wearing an anklet, this idea is equally absurd.

    We've been swingers for two decades and only came upon the black ring thing just now by complete accident. If your target audience has no idea of the meaning, it's pointless. If it's common knowledge, then it opens you up to shaming, or at least gossip. Not to mention being mistakenly identified as asexual.

    Save your money folks. This is just another failed idea.

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  12. Very useful at Desire where not everyone is a swinger. Also note, some police officers wear one with a thin blue line. Make sure to look closely.