Episode 53: Single Swinging

What's the Fu been up to?
OktoberFUst of course! What a great party!
- We welcomed our friends from Georgia -- Looking forward to your next visit.
- Dodging vanillas
- Setting up with a little help from our friends

Meeting swingers at a bar for Beer Bingo
- A fun, low-pressure way to meet swingers

FuGrrl on Twitter on hiatus for the sake of safety

Topic
Singles in the swinging lifestyle
- Are singles swingers? What are they risking?
- Mr Swap Fu bends his brain doing some swinger math
- Ms Swap Fu changes her mind

Beware the online trolls!

Happy Halloween!

Shout Outs
- Los Swingers!
- C and S Youarebootiful!
- Doug and Holly - Host Couple on SDC
- SA Pervs
- Ms K hostess with the mostest for San Antonio Girls Uncorked
- All our awesome dates!

Links:
We quote an article from ShareYourSecrets.net
http://shareyoursecrets.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=17:faq-singles&catid=5

The voice of the single man in the LifestyleLifestyle Outloud
http://www.lifestyleoutloud.com/014-lifestyle-out-loud-a-single-mans-perspective/

First-Time fun at our OktoberFUst courtesy of Youarebootiful
http://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/comments/1nuqed/our_first_swinging_experience_oktoberfest_house/

Episode Song "My Leather, My Fur, My Nails" by Stepdad on the album Wildlife Pop. Please please please get this album! So much fun!

Episode 52: My Goddamn Computer Lied to Me

Where's the Fu at?

• We went to New Orleans! Colette is the coolest. Amazing service. Uncompromising DJ. Awesome decor. Should definitely be on your must-do list. Plus we had a surprise encounter when we got there.
• A successful meet and greet with the San Antonio Pervs at the Bonham Exchange.

Odds and Ends

• The Pervy Little Social Club takes a misstep -- or how not to grow an orgy group.
• Sober Summer is drawing to a close this Sunday Funday.

Like little, boozy gems.

Topics

• Thoughts on the "Once Per Month" rule -- for newbies. Mix it up. You'll thank us later.
• Computers lie. Don't let your expectations get set too high for no good reason. What's up with no phone calls? Don't let people hide behind their computer. Get out and meet people in person.

Coming Up?
OktoberFUst und Herr Swap Fu's lederhosen

If it's wrong to love a pair of lederhosen, I don't want to be right.

Fill me up!

Shout Outs
Los Swingers' amazing Jello Shots http://www.losswingers.com/podcast
Bliss Bringers http://blissbringers.com/
The Black Ring effort http://blackringrighthand.com/
Club Colette New Orleans http://coletteclubs.com/neworleans/
San Antonio Pervs (Find them on SDC and Kasidie)

This episode's song is "Royals" by New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde, on her debut album Pure Heroine. Check her out!

Episode 51: A Vanity Project

What have we been up to?

• Sober summer; from solstice to labor day. Second year and going well.
• How do we swinger sober? Fake it 'til you make it!
• 4th of July at the Bonham Exchange: http://bonhamexchange.com

Topic:

• Discussion of the Vanity Fair video: http://video.vanityfair.com/watch/vanity-code-how-to-behave-at-a-swingers-party
• A discussion of the Swap Fu Swinger Event Plan
• How to escalate physically without being creepy
• Ms Swap Fu runs into a former coworker at one of our parties
• JB and Cal from Swinging Around on ice breakers, in response to listener question: http://swingin-around.blogspot.com/2013/05/episode-15-breaking-ice-for-playtime.html

Odds and Ends:

• Road trip with one stop... going to Club Colette in New Orleans, Friday, August 9. Want to join us? http://coletteclubs.com/neworleans/
• Enjoying equipment talk with other podcasters in particular the Hidden Swing: http://hiddenswing.com
• Black Ring website is up! http://blackringrighthand.com

Also mentioned:

• We weren't there but we call out BBB: http://www.bbbevent.com
• Pick-Up Artist community taking a beating -- sexism and misogyny: http://www.salon.com/2013/06/19/kickstarter_pickup_artist_on_sleeping_with_women_expect_her_to_offer_some_resistance
• Much to learn from the Pick Up Artist Community... within reason: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickup_artist
• Another funny video... Shit Swingers Say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5v-6_6qat4

Episode music: "Pompeii" by London's Bastille off their EP Bad Blood.  Hope you like it!

Episode 50: Making the Tough Call to Cancel

Happy Father's Day to you and Happy 50th Episode to us!

(If you like listening to Mr Swap Fu, this episode is for you.)

Check out the Swinger Subreddit for good swinger discussions:
http://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/
Good discussions on orgy management, threesomes vs foursomes and younger swingers woes.

Topics:
Knowing when to throw in the towel. Cancelling a date when you're feeling down for the sake of your company.
Went to the coed Girl Uncorked party! Big fun. Seeing old friends and making new ones.
http://www.girlsuncorked.com
Party too big? Hosting vs socializing and the role of alcohol in both. We discuss the dirty business of party list management.

Frigate Bird Threesome in the Galapagos Islands
Courtesy of Los Swingers

Shout Outs:
Los Swingers -- Thanks for the great photo!
Viva the Black Ring!
The Hidden Swing Podcast out of Oklahoma -- Thanks for the compliment about Ms Fu's voice!
Texas Social Club community on SDC run by Mr. K and the Swinger Fairy

Swinger Apps! Chance Mingle for iPhone and SLS for Android

Please call us. Tweet us. Email us.

Episode song by Imagine Dragons "On Top of the World" on the album Night Visions

Episode 49: Stop Annoying Your Partner

What's the Fu been up to?

• Desire trip -- borrowed partners and the soggy grapes of wrath
• Career changes and plane old problems
• An orgiastic experience. More more more.

Tonight's Topic
What does your partner do that annoys you?

• Maybe a size queen should take a turn for the team.
• Side bar about Pillow Princesses
• Why won't my wife have rough sex with me?
• Always being late is annoying your partner.
• Drop the Kabuki and get her to the playroom quicker!
• Make sure your partner is taken care of before you get busy with the other woman.

Shout outs to our fellow podcasters:  Find them on iTunes!
Los Swingers
Average Swingers
Lifestyle Outloud
Swinging Around
Less Than Vanilla

And also to our friends Mike Litoris and Ms Litoris

Welcome back to the guy with the hat!

Read the awesome Reddit Q&A with the marketing manager from Trapeze:
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1a5dqh/iama_swingers_club_employee_ama/

Please join us at Desire in 2014!

Episode song "The Keepers" by Santigold. The album is Master of My Make-Believe. Wow, what an extraordinary talent!

Thanks you for the awesome feedback!

Blog Entry: My problem with the term Progressive Swinging

The term progressive swinging has been proposed by the Life on the Swingset Podcast as a term to describe the type of swinging some of them engage in. In the podcast, the panel describes progressive swinging as swinging with a close group of friends, which they say encourages bonding, promotes safer sex practices and community.  The implication is that since the people they would be having sex with are friends of theirs, as their friendships grow, so would their desire to care for each other's well being. This, in turn, would create a community of so-called progressive swingers.

In this article I will discuss an alternate view; why I believe “progressive swinger” is not only a useless term, but one that carries moral judgement and potentially harmful one to those of who do not fit its description.

Ms Swap Fu and I have been swingers for a little more than three years. We have sex with close friends – people we cherish in fact – however, we would never call ourselves progressive swingers. The reason for this is that we do not see friendship as a precondition that must be in place before we have sex with people. The people we have sex with exist at varying levels of intimacy from us: from complete strangers to people we, as mentioned, cherish.

From Wikipedia (which I will be abusing for the length of this article):

Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to hooking up with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online.

By this definition, what some of the Swingset panel as well as Ms Swap Fu and I do is correctly considered swinging. The above definition quite clearly says that swingers can be friends with each other or not.

Now, let’s go back to this concept of progressive swinging. The perceived need for this term has arisen, I believe, out of criticisms by other members of the non-monogamous community and from the public at large that swingers are promiscuous. I believe the Swingset panel is trying to mitigate this criticism by saying that progressive swingers are not promiscuous. But, let’s remind ourselves what promiscuity means.

From Wikipedia:

Promiscuity, in human sexual behavior, is the practice of casual sex with multiple sexual partners.

I do not think the Swingset panel would disagree that by this definition, that they are indeed promiscuous, as Ms Swap Fu and I are. As in the definition of swinging, nothing is said above about relationship those who are promiscuous have with each other. The only qualifier is that the sex be casual and that there are multiple partners.

But the Wikipedia definition continues:

The term can carry a moral judgment and is viewed in the context of a mainstream social ideal for sexual activity to take place within exclusive committed relationships. A common example of behavior viewed as promiscuous within the mainstream social ideals of many cultures is a one-night stand.

I have highlighted “can carry moral judgment” above. And this is where I have a problem. The term “progressive swinger” is an attempt to avoid moral judgment. It infers that those who are progressive swingers are engaging in a behavior which is inside mainstream social ideal, or moral. And those who are not progressive swingers are outside the mainstream social ideal, or immoral.

This moral judgment is only exacerbated by the choice of the word “progressive” to somehow describe those within the mainstream ideal. What are the rest of us swingers to be called? Non-progressive swingers? Regressive swingers? Or we could just be “immoral swingers” and cut to the chase.

To be clear, I do not have a problem with being called immoral. Morality is a matter of opinion as far as I’m concerned, and everyone is entitled to have an opinion. Further, I think everybody has the right to call themselves whatever they want. That being said, I would like to know whether people calling themselves progressive swingers are comfortable taking a moral stand against those of us who do not have a problem with being promiscuous?

Ms Swap Fu and I are unabashedly promiscuous, and by the non-judgmental definition of the word, so are those on the Swingset panel. The only difference is that the Swingset panel’s promiscuity, when qualified by the fact that they only have sex with friends, more closely resembles the sexual practices of other non-monogamous groups.

And that’s fine.

On the swinger dating websites you see the term “friends first” a lot. This means the swinging couple wants to become friends with their potential sex partners before they have sex. I think this is a much more accurate and judgment-free manner of describing what the swinging members of the Swingset panel do: friends first swinging. The progressive swinging label is therefore largely unnecessary or least ill chosen.

We Need More Feedback!

In Episode 48 we solicited listener feedback for discussion in our next show.  We asked you to send us one thing your partner does in the lifestyle that you find annoying or just generally pisses you off.  We all have them... let's talk about it!

Well... let's just say listener response has been less than overwhelming.  This leads me to believe most of you didn't even get to the part of the show where we asked for the feedback... it was toward the end of the 90-minute episode.

Anyway... if you have a moment, leave us some feedback!  All responses will be kept strictly confidential. You can do this any of three ways:

1. As an anonymous comment to this blog post.  (Yes, we allow anonymous comments.)
2. As an email to swapfu@gmail.com

Don't be shy!

Fixed the iTunes Feed!

I found the problem and fixed our iTunes feed.

In iTunes, select our podcast, right-mouse click and select Update.

Sorry for the inconvenience!

For the geeks out there... the URL you use to embed mp3 files must start with http and not https.

iTunes Download Problems

Apologies to those having problems downloading Episode 48 via iTunes.  It's been working intermittently and I've been trying to find out what's wrong.  The problem seems to be related to iTunes and not to our host, Archive.org.

You should be able to get our podcast by clicking the title link for Episode 48 and I will post an update as soon as I know what's going on.

Episode 48: That's not even weird.

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