Friday, January 27, 2012

Episode 42: Looking Back Over the Last Two Years

  1. Toronto city officials asked to license swinger's clubs?
  2. A flurry of Swinger Grindr-like apps for mobile phones. Expect more anti-competitive craziness, a la SDC and Lifestyle Longue.  Talk about the Adult Friend Finder bullshit date.
  3. After so much talk about of monogam-ish relationships... where are the swingers, Mr Savage? Neglecting to consult one of the many swinger sages seems a little strange.
  1. The top three changes in our perception or things we have learned in the last two years of swinging. 
  1. Remember: You can post anonymous comments to our blog:  Respond to us there if you want people to see it.  Emails and dating sites messages are OK for private stuff, but post comments to our blog is an easy way to share with other listeners.
  2. Getting the cops called on us.
  3. Expanded explanation of guest list management.  Read email.
  4. Upcoming Mardi Gras party: Feb 18
Not that these guys need us promoting them, but the episode song is "I Write Sin Not Tragedies" by Panic At the Disco.  Great tunes from another great Las Vegas band.


  1. Great podcast, thanks. A little local colour (see what I did there?) on the Toronto story:

    As a member of the LS in Toronto, it was amusing to see the Striper Club mouthpiece taking swinger clubs to task. Mr. Tim Lambrinos identifies himself in the article as being a spokesperson for the "Exotic Dancers Association of Canada" but he has also been linked to the Adult Entertainment Association of Canada - a stripper club business group ( Which makes the motivation behind this complaint a little clearer.

    It is telling that this story broke on the front page of Toronto's most notorious tabloid newspaper, disappeared quickly, hasn't shown up on any media not owned by them, or resurfaced since. I think we can safely chalk this up to being a titillating story (swingers, strippers, sex, fight!) that was too juicy to pass up.

    We are under no illusion that we are at the whims of City zoning laws, and all it would take would be for an agenda driven city councillor or two to make life for the clubs much more difficult. But right now, we are blessed with a vibrant LS club scene, and this story doesn't appear to be the one that is likely to change that.


    PS: If Kasidie were to offer a public API I would write an iOS Grindr-like app to leverage it in an instant.

  2. Hey Swap Fu s,
    We love your podcast, great summary of your last two years. But, my husband totally loves and totally gets turned on by tag teaming me with another guy in a MFM situation. He took awhile to be ok with that, because he didn't think he "should" enjoy sharing his wife and watching me in action. So, please, please, please, don't disrespect him for his does not "suck" and neither does he. But I do, I love to suck...on both cocks :) :) Thanks!

  3. Just became an listener of the pod cast and love the real life perspective of the swinger life... the humor and fun that is put into the podcast is a great laugh... Mrs Swap Fu is Hot and her laugh is intoxicating...

    Keep it up!!! We are hooked listeners!!!!

    K and T guess

  4. Thanks for clarifying & responding to my "guest list management inquiries"!!

    Female cuckolding = cuckqueaning

    no cuckolding, got it. But do either of you enjoy watching the other play with a different partner during a break in your "action" (realizing you are primarily/preferably separate room sway)?

  5. To the woman who loves to suck...on both cocks. I enjoy that too!
    That is simply a MFM threesome much different from cuckolding. You mentioned being tag teamed by both and sucking both cocks..cucks do not participate in the sexual acts while their partner is with the other man-other than watching. The NOT participating or not being "allowed" or maybe even not "worthy" (not big enough etc.) to participate is a big part of the psychological turn on for them. More of a highly involved mental role playing, kink going on with cuckolding than just enjoying seeing your partner with another man in MFM threesomes.

    I don't think the Swap Fu s are disrespecting you because you and your husband enjoy MFM threesomes nor do I think they are disrespecting those that are into the kink of cuckolding...just not their thing.

  6. I liked your comments about it not being someone else's job to entertain us.
    I think that can be usful in just about all social settings.
    Great show.


  7. "Cuckolding sucks?" Not a cuckold here, but definitely a "hot-wifer". We absolutely love your podcast and really appreciate your perspective. I hope you can accept this opinion and as well as we accept yours. Your perspective on MFM is quite close minded and a bit denigrating! How many "normal" people would denigrate your sexual "deviance"? Lets be real. My wife and I are avid swingers, and we enjoy the MFM experinece just as much as playing with couples. In fact we also enjoy the FMF, and have enjoyed the MFMFM experince as well! Our only requirement is that we are ALWAYS together no matter what happens. As much as you dont get us, we don't get you! We are a same room only couple. In fact, we insist on being able to "switch up", enjoy watching the other in complete ecstacy, and find that is the ultimate appeal of our involvement in the lifestyle. Just as you don't get how some people enjoy watching their significant other enjoying themselves with another person, we don't get your "not" enjoying it. In fact it almost seems as though you would rather avoid it. We LOVE to FUCK, and we LOVE, to watch each other in complete ecstacy under any circumstances. We agree that the two of you seem really well adjusted and we really appreciate your open discussions and dialogue, but, you should be careful about casting aspersions on people in the lifestyle. We all have kinks and preferences.
    Your idea of an MFM, with the husband sitting in the corner watching is a misnomer! (not that there is anything wrong with that as you have suggested). Completely enjoynig my wife with another and being there to (actively participate), and experince her overwhelming multiple orgasms is all the validation I need. As a couple we are highly deirable (by both sexes), and have the luxury to pick and choose who we play with. On occassion, we choose the MFM experince......Mrs. SwapFu doesn't know what she is missing, and I would propose.....neither do you.
    All the best. Keep up the good work....

  8. Let me start out by saying that my husband & I enjoy listening to your podcasts. Your podcast from 1/27/12 talked about cuckolding and you sound like you don't believe that there are women out there who would like to watch their husband play with another female. That has been my personal fantasy for a long time and we are trying to make that happen. I guess you could call us "newbies" because we haven't had any sexual encounters outside our marriage so far. We have been together for over 40 years and are very secure in our relationship. I would like to experiment with my bi-side and would love to have a threesome, but the thought of watching my husband fuck another woman in front of me makes me hot and we've even used that fantasy while fucking each other to spice it up. So women like us to exist! Now if we can just find that elusive unicorn! Any suggestions would be appreciated!

  9. Well I can see that I am late to comment on this last episode, but as always here are my two cents.
    About the first part: As my grandmother use to say: everyone would be offended depending of their interpretation to a word. To me everyone has a lifestyle, if you like to beg for money at any corner and your way of life is to promote self compassion that is your lifestyle, if you like to go stepping on everyone’s toes and been a micromanager, that is your lifestyle, so even vanillas have their own lifestyle.

    Monogam-ish relationship, well I guess I am part of a monogamy-ish relationship, though I know my marriage is not perfect, is open to explore different aspects of sexuality with my significant other, but now, if my significant other would know that I am cheating and he or she doesn’t care , would that be a monogam-ish relationship too?

    To me being a swinger means: first of all to be married, or on a stable monogamy relationship with one partner. Many of the couples that we have played with have children and we like better to swing with MWC couples, as we feel we share a common ground of interest, respect, discretion, life value and security. Second, it means that you consider your partner as a friend, lover, etc., and you have an interest to fulfill your partner’s curiosity, interest, erotic desire and lust for other people as well as your own; so you willingly open your relationship searching some other partners with similar interests. These are basically the two major reasons why I like to say that I am a swinger, besides I don’t have any trouble telling my partner that I like this or that person, and I have no problem to watch how he or she is been pleased enjoying a great moment with someone else, in the end I know I am the one my partner loves. Ultimately I think is more honest to say that we are a swinging couple, than saying that I am a priest or pastor and having sex with as many as possible.

    About the second part: I much agree with Mrs. Fu about its just another group of people, and yes at the beginning I thought this is cool and this guys are totally wired, but again no one is perfect; any way as they say “is not what the group of people can do for you, but what you can do for your group”; so I also agree with Mr. Fu about taking care of yourself, promote a healthier way of living, exercise, etc, so when it comes the time to share and be with other people you can bring the best of you.

    What I have learn through all these years of swinging is: People tend to cheat for no good reason, because in the end your partner is looking for the same, if you only were brave enough to share your dreams, you would not need to go behind doors. Women in general are as hot and horny as men, they just pretend to be in no need or . . . I don’t know but they like too.

    Finally, I don’t mind your take about watching or not your partner having sex, but I just want to say one thing: imagine how many positions you can get out of 4 people having sex at once. If that is not a turn on, I don’t know what can be. And finally Mrs. Fu I don’t know about you, but several times I found on my Google search “Why is that I like to see my husband having sex”, “How many women like to see their husband having sex”, “Why do I like seeing my husband having sex” and personally I would stop if I get to see that someone in the room is either board, not having fun, feeling jealous or bad in any type, shape or form, if not I like to put up the show, HA HA HA.
    Please let us know how the Big O, female ejaculation or squirt lessons are coming along and sorry for extending me so much. Hope you like it as I like to hearing you guys.
    The Canadian

  10. You guys should do podcasts with guests too! Like radio talk show hosts who have guests on their show! :) I love your laugh Ms. Swapfu! And I love your take on using the swinger term Mr. Swapfu. You are completely right, it does have a structure. Calling yourself...what was it?..a non monogamous lifestyler is like a stay at home mom calling herself a domestic engineer. It is all semantics. I do have one thing that might contribute to the topic. Swinging is not something you can master because it is personal, and as people we are constantly evolving learning and growing.

  11. Guy in the (German) hatFebruary 12, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    Hey you two! First, thanks for bringing me some flavor of home while I'm trying to get my bearings out here! I have to mention a thought to expand based on Mrs. Fu's comments about not trying to be so perfect:

    The community goes a long way to helping that normal female "I'm not hot enough" vibe I believe. You both know Mrs. Hat (It's your fault she's called that btw!) and she is shy but she will also get out on the pole and be that center of attention and put on a show as if she's as comfortable in her own body as anyone in this world. In my opinion that's a big benefit to being a part of this "community". Others tell her often that she's hot. It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain that to her, she just feels like it's my job to say that. But when you have many others who say so, it boosts up that ego a bit which is drastically important, at least to me it is.

    Anyway, my 2 cents. Love you guys and miss y'all!

  12. Miss you guys ! Hope to hear from you soon - hope all is well !
    xoxo from Wyoming !

  13. Are you two coming back?? I keep refreshing my itune podcasts hoping for a new contribution and I get very sad!!!

    NYC swinger